One of the things Jason and I did for our anniversary at the beginning of the month was to go to Buttermilk Falls.
 |
| 17 year anniversary |
Seventeen years ago, we were so young. I was just out of college, ridiculously idealistic, working as a recruiter for a personnel agency and devoted to the WorkFare program to put people who were collecting state aid to work. Jason was working for a tiny tree company and going to college at night. We lived in a really cute apartment. We had some pretty amazing friends. We adopted a dog to keep me company when Jason was in school at night. We knew we wanted to buy a house and have kids, but we had no idea...
 |
| Buttermilk Falls, Ithaca, NY |
We didn't know then that Jason would be offered an awesome opportunity in upstate NY, an opportunity that made him think twice about finishing college. We had no idea that we would buy a farmhouse in Connecticut and have two little girls. We had no idea we would ever homeschool. We had no idea how we would grow together. There were no blogs then, the internet was a new thing. So much of that time was about faith, as is so much of life, we have no idea what tomorrow will bring.
 |
| Buttermilk Falls, Ithaca, NY |
 |
| Buttermilk Fall, Ithaca, NY |
Seventeen years ago, we were just hopeful, optimistic, idealistic, naive kids. We were from two totally different backgrounds and types of families, but we knew we wanted the same thing: a solid, stable family life and that was all that mattered to us. We wanted a house and kids. We both wanted the kind of life some people find boring, but we thought of as comfortable. We wanted family dinners, falling asleep on the couch watching TV, a cozy home and lots of laughter around the dinner table. We have never been into glitz or glamour. We don't want to be famous. We have always found more happiness in the small things and appreciating what we have than in chasing after an elusive gold ring.
Seventeen years ago, Jason used to drive me nuts because I would expect him home after his class or work and he wouldn't come home for hours and hours. We didn't have cell phones then and Jason was not used to answering to anyone. He would go to a friends' house and hang out until midnight or later and think nothing of it. I would be pacing at home thinking he was dead on the side of the road. He and his mom started calling me controlling.
|
| Buttermilk Falls, Ithaca, NY |
 |
| Buttermilk Falls, Ithaca, NY |
There was a time about a year after we got married, where we really, really thought about divorce. We were just too damn different. He was from a very free-spirited, hippie do-whatever-you-want and don't worry about telling anyone where you are or what you are doing and if they don't like it's their problem background. Live for today and do whatever you want without thinking of consequences was not how I was raised and we were just too different. It drove me crazy that he didn't tell me he was going to a friend's house after school or work, I would pace the house until all hours. It drove me nuts that he would spend thousands of dollars on stereo equipment or things to soup up his truck and not talk it over with me first--we were paying for his college and trying to save for a house. It drove me batty that he maxed out a credit card. It drove him nuts that I wanted to know where he was or how he was spending our money. He didn't want to be chained to anyone, he wanted to be free and his family encouraged him to be free and to do whatever he wanted. It was a difficult time.
 |
| Buttermilk Falls, NY |
 |
| Buttermilk Falls, NY |
My parents told us anything worth having was worth working for and Jason always said he wanted to keep working at it, even when I was ready to throw in the towel and move back home with my parents. I thought about grad school, my friends all getting apartments in the city or Philly. It would have been easy to leave. But there was something there...that shared dream of the house, the comfortable life, the kids. And I would stick it out.
 |
| Buttermilk Falls, Ithaca, NY |
Over time, Jason "grew up". Those are his words. And life stabilized. We have cell phones and he calls or texts if he is going over a friend's house after work. He doesn't spend money on stereo equipment and stuff to soup up his car, now we have mutual interests: we spend money on cameras and lenses, yoga retreats and festivals, craft beer and our kids. Jason is into playing guitar again and was happy that we had money to buy a nice guitar. We are content to go to sleep after spending an evening laughing with our kids. We are blissfully happy with our stable, solid life.
 |
| Buttermilk Falls, Ithaca, NY |
And we share a love of nature and photography and hiking and being connected to the earth and each other and our family. This "Yoga Weekend" has brought us even closer together, as I let go of my resistance, I let go of my need to always do what is expected, and I embrace a connectedness to the earth which brings me closer to my husband.
