Friday, January 17, 2014

So Much

Back in early December, I found myself in the ER with severe abdominal pains.  I had been feeling great for weeks--I had stopped eating sugar and gluten, one of my friends had turned me on to eating fermented vegetables and I was loving them and my green smoothies and salads and other vegetarian meals.  I was feeling better than I had felt in YEARS.

And the next thing I knew I was DOUBLED over in pain.

I thought it was something that would heal on its own.  I consulted my various nutritional healing books and friends who are holistic healers.  But after more than 24 hours in severe pain, I went to my doctor.  She pressed on my abdomen and when she released her hand, I screamed!  Rebound pain.  Probably my appendix or diverticulitis.  I needed to get the ER!

My parents picked up the girls, Jason came home and took me to the ER.  They did a CT Scan and come back and said, "Your appendix is fine.  You don't have diverticulitis, but we found a MASS where one of your ovaries is supposed to be."


Those are words you never want to hear.

"Could it be malignant?"  I asked.

"It's not my specialty, but we are calling in a specialist," the ER doc said.

I was immediately on the iPhone looking up ovarian cancer.  Not good.

Twenty minutes later, a very take charge kind of ob-gyn came in and reassured me that it looked like a cyst, more than likely benign.  But I just could NOT get that word MASS out of my head.

I had more tests done and surgery was scheduled for right after Christmas.

I spent December in kind of a haze, mostly praying that I did not have cancer.  My girls...would we be able to much went through my head.  I kept having conversations that began with, "If something happens to me...".

Jason was fortunately able to take off two weeks in December, the week before my surgery and the week of/after my surgery.

We spent the week before going on short trips to just keep my mind and body busy.

Philly cheesesteaks for Jason and the girls and Veggie sub for me!

I have to say, my surgeon was awesome, the hospital was wonderful, the nurses, the was as good of an experience as that kind of thing can be.

Two days after my surgery, the pathology results came back:  BENIGN!

Then I could relax.

I had laproscopic surgery and you know, everyone says it is a quick recovery.  I guess in my head I thought it would be like having a tooth pulled.  Not so much.  I am still supposed to be resting.  I still have some pain.  Rolling over is not something I can do without waking up and planning and positioning.  But I am feeling better every day.


First and foremost, our friends have been so amazingly awesome...seriously, I do not know what I would do without these women.  They have been picking my girls up and taking them to field trips and playdates and New Year's Eve parties and sleepovers and all kinds of things.  Not to mention preparing amazing meals for us.

I haven't really felt much like homeschooling since this whole thing began.  But I pushed myself--at Jason's encouragement to get my mind off possibilities-- and we started something that has been working really well for us.  You know, the one thing I learned about homeschooling is that something works well for us for a while and then...we adjust and something else works well.  But for now, I write down the Math lessons and other things I want the girls to accomplish for the week, we each pick one documentary to watch or a historical-type show (Allie now wants to be a midwife after watching "Call the Midwife" and we are currently working our way through "Land Girls"--which Allie is all over because she loves WWII).  The girls discipline themselves to get the work done, around sleepovers and playdates, and rollerskating and field trips and tutoring and other things they have going on.

What am I doing?

I have been attempting to teach myself to crochet.  I can knit.  I love knitting, but there are so many cute things you can do with I have been watching Youtube videos and attempting to teach myself how to crochet.  I have plans...

I have also been reading.

Oh my, have I been reading.

I like to read Christmas books around Christmas.  It's kind of like reading books that take place at the beach in summer.  I LOVE Christmas--yes, even this year, even with everything going on, I loved the distraction of baking and crafting and decorating and entertaining.

I am not the biggest fan of this author's writing style, but the story was cute and short and sweet.  Made me really wish we could have a dog.  Damn allergies.

Ever since I started working at the library, all of the twenty and thirty-something librarians have told me I should read John Green.  The girls and I love his CrashCourse videos on youtube and Allie has read and LOVED several of his books, so I decided to try this YA book of short stories and I LOVED it!  It brought me right back to being a teenager--and being the mom of a teenager, it's important to me to remember what being a teen is like!

The Shortest Way Home is pretty light reading, perfect for right after surgery or when you just want something light.  It's a family story and makes you realize that all families have their issues and although we can't necessarily choose our families, we do love them, despite our differences.

This is Allie's very most favorite book.  We watched & LOVED the movie together and she asked me to read the book--because, you know, the book is ALWAYS better than the movie!  I did and I must's really an excellent book--I HIGHLY recommend it to all teens and moms of teens!

I am getting pretty into YA fiction!  I read an article "10 Books to Read Before They Become Movies", and I had been putting reading this book off, because I knew it would be depressing--a love story about two teens with terminal cancer--but I figured since basically I am resting and reading, I could devote a lot of time to reading right now.  I like to read depressing books when I can just sit and get through them, rather than prolonging the emotions over days and days.  

I am embarrassed to admit that I blew this book off in high school, somehow managed to get an A or B in the class without ever reading it--or probably any of the assigned books (I think the only assigned book I actually read was Catcher in the Rye in high school, I was too busy reading what I wanted to read, but somehow I always managed to get on the Honor Roll or High Honor Roll.  Go figure.)  Anyway, Gatsby is referenced so often that I felt like I really should read it, so I did.  It was ok.  I found the characters annoying and pretentious and I couldn't relate to them, but I am glad I read it so at least I get the references.

I just started this two days ago and I can not put it down.  Un-put-down-able.  I have heard several people say they didn't like the ending, but I like the characters too much to jump ahead and ruin it.  It's a meaty mystery, filled with really timely and political references and I am really enjoying it!