Thursday, September 13, 2012

A Letter to Myself

Dear pre-teen Theresa,

You are loved.  But I think you know that.  I don't think you have ever doubted that.

You know how you love to read and write stories much more than being with people?  It's called being an introvert.  It's OK.  It's NORMAL.  Don't worry.  It's how you re-charge.  When you need to be social, you can.  In fact, you can be downright hilarious!  Don't let anyone make you feel bad for preferring staying in your room reading to going out with other kids.

Now, I don't mean to be critical, but a piece of advice: feathered hair may be the style, but it will go away--I PROMISE!  Oh, and big hair,too--you will one day be proud that you NEVER had big hair even though you are from Jersey!

Me, I think I was about 12 but we forgot to burn that candle for many years

Now, that pesky little brother with the knobby knees that you fight with all the time?  Wa-wa is just the beginning (you know what I mean ;-) You will have MANY more private jokes.  You will rely on each other when times are tough.  You will be there for each other through thick and thin...driving home in the middle of the night because the other one broke up with someone.  Also, the two of you together can crack up a room for hours! Oh and he may hate the whole world seeing this picture (especially the gifted students in the Number One school in the state that he teaches!)  but, yeah, that is still the way it is!

my brother & I, early 1990s

You will never have another friend like Ben ;-)  Don't fight it, go with it and take care of it.  You will never regret it.  When you say, "I don't know why I..." and he says, "Let me explain..." he understands you better than you understand yourself.  And he can make you laugh til you cry.  The two of you will have inside jokes that will go on forever.
This guy & I were inseparable in high school

College is AWESOME!  You will love it.  Just don't be so damn focused on your perfect GPA and have more fun...because this is it!  After this you will be a grown up who doesn't go out at 11pm and you will have responsibilities, so live it up while you can.  Take some risks, dammit!  One day you will look back on these days as some of the most fun of your life!

Oh and major in design, it's what you really want to do...just get the courage to do it!

Oh and scrapbooking--not a good idea--you will ruin pictures you only have one copy of (see above)...wait a bit, they come out with something called digital photobooks...go with Shutterfly...make your kids' baby albums that way, you will be happier.  They come out neater, more professional looking, not lumpy with those embellishment-thingys...and they are less messy in the creative process.  Just save the photos in a file and one day you can easily create photo books.  You will LOVE them!

We were also inseparable in college
Jason says when he met "Ben" Ben gave him a look like, "Hurt her and you will answer to me!"
When you meet your husband-to-be you will know within a month.  Enjoy that too.  Well, you do.  When he tells you to leave his family alone--LISTEN to him.  You are not invincible, you can not change the world.  These people are not like you, they are not like anyone you will never understand them and that is really ok.  It's not worth the energy, time and aggravation for the pain they cause.  Just let Jason direct the relationship from the beginning.  I know you were raised to believed that family is family no matter what and blood is thicker than water...but I will say it again, these people are not like you or anyone in your social circles.  Eventually you will realize they create drama in their own lives, not just with you but with many people, there is always drama in their lives..and they will create drama in your life if you let them in...but you don't like to live like that, so just leave them the heck alone or they will make you miserable.  Follow Jason's lead on this one from the beginning...when you do, it gets much better!

It may seem at times that everyone has a boyfriend but you and your mom may tell you to put down the books and go out there and be with people...but in the end, it all works end up with the nicest, sweetest, most hard-working husband who makes you laugh and would do anything for you and is the best father the world has ever seen.  He is handy around the house, you share a bazillion interests and he understands you on a deep, spiritual level that you never knew existed.  Oh and there is some cool stuff in store for him, too.  When you meet him, he's been pushed around some (see above) and he will need some reassurance, but yeah, there is cool stuff in store for him, too.

Your wedding will be THE BOMB!  Seriously, people will still be talking about how cool it was 16 years later.  Just do me a favor: don't chintz out on the honeymoon, do something awesome!  Live a little.  Don't buy a computer with your wedding money, in a few years computers will be cheaper!  I know you are always worried about not having money, but you will be fine.  I promise.  Live a little.  Go to an all-inclusive resort.  Aruba, Jamaica, Bermuda, Bahamas...

You know all that stuff you are fighting?  Sure that everyone has more sophisticated relationships?  HA!  One day you will so totally appreciate your family and your heritage.  You will be proud to be second generation American who keeps traditions from the Old Country.

Pay more attention when Naunie teaches you to make gravy!  

You will have two beautiful girls.  You will stay home with them.  You will LOVE every single minute of it.  You will never regret it.

You will think about homeschooling when Allie is three, just go with it.  You will be awesome at it.  You can teach her to read, don't worry and let her develop at her own pace and it will be BETTER than public school....a thousandfold better!

Don't make the decision to not have more kids after your second one is born.  You may regret that.  You may want more.

Other than the normal bumps in the road that everyone has, you will be happy.  You will be blessed and lucky and feel fortunate every day.  Your kids will be healthy.  Your life will be simple, just the way you like it.  Oh yeah, embrace simplicity--don't buy a lot of crap, you end up just de-cluttering it all.  keep it simple from the beginning, not a lot of toys, not a lot of tchotchkes, not a lot of stuff...just more to clean, put away, keep neat and you hate just don't buy into it!

Never doubt that you are loved.

Take more's what life is all about!