Top Ten Things That Are On My Mind Right Now

I really love these Top Ten posts.  This is the last of the ihomeschool weekly themes for this meme and I am going to miss having a weekly predetermined theme to write about.  While I am not a member of ihomeschool network, I did participate in this last year as well and had hoped to continue after the weekly themes were over...put I couldn't come up with enough topics...maybe I will try again this year. Or maybe someone else will come up with some weekly themes.

This week's theme is

1.  Taxes.  I just became aware that our taxes have gone up SIGNIFICANTLY.  Since buying our home ten years ago, our taxes have increased more than 50%.  Our services, however, have not increased at all and my husband's salary has remained relatively the same, maybe a small increase, but with the whole financial crisis, his company is not giving out raises like they used to.

2.  Permits.  When I called our town to inquire as to why our taxes had increased so dramatically this year, I was told three things: 1) School taxes went up A LOT because of new things put in place by our government (this drives me bonkers because I think government involvement is RUINING education AND while I'm glad my kids are homeschooled, it drives me nuts to hear I am paying higher taxes for a service we don't use.  I may lean more liberal than conservative, but one issue where I differ with liberals is on the voucher system for education).  2) I was told that we had ADDED A NEW ROOF in 2012---umm, yeah, we added it because we didn't have one!  Right!  "We needed to replace the roof,"  I corrected the tax assessor.  "Well, whatever," she said.  "You can get more for your house if you sold it now with the new roof than with the old."  "We needed to REPLACE a 13 year old roof way before its time because it was installed incorrectly,"  I told her.  "Where was the permit inspection there?"  You can't fight city hall, so I had a margarita!  And 3)  I was told everyone's taxes had increased 2% which means it is under Christie's cap and within the allowable amount.

Whew!  Glad I got that off my chest!

3.  Camp.  My girls are in camp this week, last week and next week and they LOVE it.  I was looking forward to a mellow, laid-back, easy going summer of waking up and deciding what we felt like doing.  So much for that.  A camp here, a tennis lesson there, a trip to visit friends here, the lake, vacation...and well, our summer is almost entirely BOOKED!

4.  Creativity.  My girls are really creative and I love that!  I want to encourage that!  We are looking at some different art academies for fall.  I want to also make sure there is PLENTY OF TIME in our regular schedule where the girls can just spend time creating and exploring in our art studio.  Not over-scheduling is my mantra this fall.  It's always my mantra, but I seldom listen to it.  This time I REALLY MEAN IT!  I hope I adhere to it!

5.  Forgiveness.   Letting people back in.  Creating healthy boundaries.  It's tough with family.  

6.  Running.  I started running.  I can't believe it myself.  I ran a bit here and there in high school, but never really considered myself a runner.  I decided last week to change up my workout and I started running.  It's more of a run, walk, run, walk, run, walk...but today I ran several blocks and across a busy street.  It feels so good.  My lungs feel awesome, like they are stretching and I can breathe deeper!

7.  Getting up early.   I have been waking up naturally at 5:30 or 6am and going for a run!  It's awesome to have that done by 7:30am!  I feel like I have sooooo much more time!

8.  Reuniting with old friends and finding you still have lots in common.  Second chances at friendships = Awesomeness!!!!!!!!!!!!

9.  The Supermarket.  I went there for grapes to make Lentil Salad and spent $50!  How does that happen? The fish was super fresh and just being put on ice, lobsters were on sale and for a buck more they steam them for you-lobster salad, anyone?  And school supplies--notebooks for $.20 and gluesticks for $.10 and 8 packs of Sharpies for $1.99!  Woo HOO!  

10.  Missing our Lake Friends.

we all have so much fun together

we have a blast together

we will be reunited in August and hopefully December!

so much fun!

A Walk Around the Lake

 At home or away, I like to go for a walk or run every morning.  It clears my head, centers my mind and gets me ready for the day.

When we are at the lake walking is a special treat.  Sometimes Allie comes with me or Jason and sometimes my good friend at the lake comes for a walk with me--sometimes we even walk around the lake twice so we can talk more!

The roads around the lake are mostly dirt and heavily wooded.  It's so much cooler in the shade of the woods.  It feels so private and intimate, it's a great place to speak your heart with a good friend ;-)

 My friend shares my love of taking pictures and we both are always on the look out for cool details at the lake, like this cool iron scroll fence or barn siding or beautiful lilies.

 When I walk with Jason sometimes we talk, sometimes we just breathe it all in, drink in the peace and beauty of the lake.  When we do talk, we talk about retiring at the lake, maybe living there year-round.  They get lots and lots of snow, which sounds like heaven to me, just laying in bed under thick comforters with a cup of tea and a good book...

This is my dream house at the lake.  I take a picture of it every time we visit.  I am sure the people that live there think I am stalking them.  In my dream world, Jason and I would buy this house and live in it year-round in retirement.  It's my friend's dream house, too, so we may have to duke it out ;-)

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this LittleFreePublicLibrary!  Is that not the cutest thing?  There were all kinds of books inside from popular fiction to non-fiction.  It's new.  It's one of my favorite things ever!

There are a lot of older, cute cozy homes at the lake.  I just love the character and charm.  Jason says just looking at that picture below of the lake lowers his blood pressure tenfold.

Thanks for coming on a walk around the lake with us ;-)

Ten Things About Me You Should Know

1.  I have two girls, ages 11 & 13.  They are creative and they both to love read.  My youngest came up with the idea of having a youtube channel for homeschoolers, she does all of the planning and administrative work for the channel.  You can check that out here: 7 Cool Homeschoolers.

2. My husband and kids are my life.  All I ever wanted to be was a mom and a wife!

3.  We are relaxed, interest-led eclectic homeschoolers.  We use a variety of methods depending on what we are learning.  As my girls are getting older and more independent and I see them pursuing their own interests, I am more and more interested in letting them lead and take responsibility for their learning/education.

4.  I am a librarian.  I was a teacher before I had kids.  I dream of opening a day care/learning center when my stint as a homeschool mom is over.

5.  I am a complete homebody and I love books.  I thought the hurricane that left us without power for 8 days was fun because I didn't have to leave my house and there was no computers and internet and other things to distract me from reading!

6. I live a half hour from Manhattan on the Jersey side.  I love Bruce and the beach.  Around here, James Gandolfini's death a few weeks ago was like losing a family member, one of our own.  I love where I live and the sense of community and family.

7.  I love yoga.  I try to practice every day.  I feel so much better when I do.

8.  I don't eat meat.

9.  I pride myself on being very open minded and trying to see all points of view on something and doing MY OWN research before deciding how I feel about any given issue.  I am an issue girl when it comes to politics.  I no longer identify with either party.

10.  I am a deeply spiritual person, I found my faith grow most when I embraced all religions and all faiths: Protestant, Catholic, Buddhism, Muslim, Hindu....we all worship the same God and I think there is something to learn from all of it.

Linking with:

Getting Through Difficult Times

A year ago my beloved uncle went to the doctor because he had a pain in his neck.  His doctor ran some blood work and his hemoglobin was low and the doctor sent him for a blood transfusion.  The hospital admitted him to observe him after the transfusion.  He was diagnosed with myelogenic leukemia a week or two after being admitted and he never went home.   He spent the entire summer and fall in the hospital, before passing away two days after Thanksgiving.

I had spent many hours crying with him and holding his hand over the summer and fall, but when that weekend came, I was scared.  I didn't want to be there.  I didn't want to face the emotions head-on like that.  I didn't want those to be my memories of him, of us, of everything we shared.  I prayed and talked to friends and worried that I would regret not being there.  But I don't.  I don't regret not being there.  My mom and my aunt were with him, so he was not alone.  My memories of my uncle are not of him being sick but of everything we shared.  I am sure some people judge me for this; my uncle knew I loved him beyond compare and it's between us and God.

God Had a Plan

My mom stayed at the hospital with my aunt and my uncle through Thanksgiving and my father came here to be with Jason and the girls and I.  Jason and I grilled a turkey and made the trimmings.  It was a somber Thanksgiving.

When I am upset, I usually try to find a project to do to help me relax and allow me to focus on something else.  I had decided to paint our bedroom.  I had bought a new duvet cover and Allie had made me new curtains several months before, but with my uncle's illness, I just never got around to painting.  Jason had plans with a friend that day and he was impatient in the morning to move all of our bedroom furniture out into the living room.  He didn't wait for me to finish breakfast, he heaved and huffed and pushed and puffed, with me yelling, "Wait a minute! Let me help!"  Something popped out of Jason's leg--he thought he pulled a muscle until several hours later when he began vomitting uncontrollably and I drove him to the ER.

Thank God my dad had decided to stay home and not be with my mom, because he met us at the ER and took the girls to his house.

If I had gone to the hospital, we would not have painted our room and Jason would not have moved the furniture and he may not have gotten a hernia.  Or maybe Jason would have stayed home and done something else and he would have still gotten the hernia.  The surgeon who performed emergency surgery on Jason said the hernia was a congenital weakness and had been there for a LONG time, but sometimes you don't feel them or see them and over time, with strain they push out more and become noticeable and painful.  Who knows?  Maybe it was a weak spot and with all of the crazy work Jason was doing after Hurricane Sandy, it was just destined to pop that weekend and if I had been at the hospital with my uncle, I would not have been home to bring Jason to the ER.

I called my father to tell him that Jason was out of surgery and he told me that my uncle had passed away.  I was all alone in a surgical waiting room on a holiday weekend.  There was no one around.  The emotion I felt literally brought me to the ground.  My dad was on the phone crying out, "Do you want me to come there?  Do you want me to come get you?"  But I couldn't respond in that moment.  

I forced myself to calm down and relax and told my dad that I wanted to be there when Jason woke up.  My dad said not to tell Jason about my uncle that night and convinced me to come to his house to sleep that night.

I don't know how long I stayed in that waiting room.  I realized I was hungry and had not eaten since that morning--it had been a crazy day of painting, worrying about Jason, rushing him to the ER, ultrasounds, waiting for the surgeon, waiting for the surgery.... I decided to head to Chipotle.

Wrecking Ball

I am a huge Springsteen fan.  My family is working class, blue-collar, part Italian from Jersey for generations.  I see myself and my family in Bruce Springsteen's songs, our life, our values, our morals and our politics.  And, there is a part of us here in  Jersey that just look at it as "our boys makin' good".     

When I was 12, I went with my cousins to one of the first concerts ever at Giants Stadium (Bruce's Born in the USA tour) and a few years ago, I went with friends from church for the last concert at Giants Stadium.  At that last concert, Bruce played a song, "Wrecking Ball"a song about Giants Stadium.  

I was raised out of steel here in the swamps of Jersey, some misty years ago 

Through the mud and the beer, and the blood and the cheers,  

I've seen champions come and go 

So if you got the guts mister, yeah if you've got the balls 

If you think it's your time, then step to the line, and bring on your wrecking ball

My friends and I, we lifted our cups or warm beer that night in 2011 and we toasted that old stadium.  That was a memory I was proud of.  I was proud to have been there and to have shared that with my friends, with Bruce and well, with New Jersey (I am pretty proud of where I am from).   

Now my home was here in the Meadowlands, 

where mosquitoes grow big as airplanes 

Here where the blood is spilled, the arena's filled, and Giants play the 'Skins 

So raise up your glasses and let me hear your voices call 

Come on!Because tonight all the dead are here, so bring on your wrecking ball

In 2011 when Bruce released an album titled after the song he'd written for Giants Stadium, Jersey Springsteen fans smiled and nodded at each other.  He didn't forget us.  He knew where he was from.  He's our cousin, our brother, our friend.  Most of us know that if we see him at the beach, which many of us have, you just nod and smile and let him go his way...'cause he's just one of us.  So naming the album after our song, we appreciated like you'd appreciate a great gift from a friend.

Last summer, Allie was 12 and Bruce was playing the first concert at the new Giants Stadium and I took her.  Bruce is always emotional for me.  I usually feel like my insides are on the outside and shared with everyone there and then put back together.  Bruce and the fans, we call it being "transcended by the church of rock n' roll".  Having my daughter there, her first Springsteen concert at the same age I was for mine and seeing her "get it" and love it and lose herself in the music and the experience was beyond transcendence for me.  It will always be one of my most favorite memories of being a mom.  

Allie and I had both loved the Wrecking Ball album from the minute we first listened to it, but after the concert it never left the CD player in my car and "Wrecking Ball" was both of our favorite song.

Hard Times

After hearing Jason was out of surgery and my uncle had passed away, I lost it for a while, alone in that hospital waiting room.  Then I knew I needed to take care of myself, be strong for Jason and my girls.  I realized I was shakey with that low-blood sugar feeling and I had to eat.  I had no idea how to get to the cafeteria in the hospital, so I decided to head to the mall, which is really close to the hospital.  I knew what to find there.

I walked through halls in that hospital and got totally lost, which is crazy because in high school my friend Melissa and I had volunteered at that hospital and one of our jobs was to transport patients so I kind of always pride myself on knowing my way around that hospital.

Somehow I got to my car and I was a little scared that in my emotional state it was not safe to drive.  Springsteen's music marks a lot of emotional events in my life, I remember the events by which of his songs was playing.  That night "Wrecking Ball" came on.  

Yeah we know that come tomorrow, none of this will be here 

So hold tight on your anger Hold tight on your anger Hold tight to your anger, 

and don't fall to your fear 

Now when all this steel and these stories, they drift away to rust 

And all our youth and beauty, it's been given to the dust 

And your game has been decided, and you're burning the down the clock 

And all our little victories and glories, have turned into parking lots 

When your best hopes and desires, are scattered to the wind 

And hard times come, hard times go 

Hard times come, hard times go

And hard times come, hard times go 

Hard times come, hard times go 

Hard times come, hard times go 

Yeah just to come again

I could barely see through my tears as the meaning of this song changed for me from being about Giants Stadium and my first concert and the last concert there and my girl's first Springsteen show.  It was about my uncle and the interest he developed in football when bought an HD TV and how he and Jason shared a love of the NY Giants and how they would talk about it and how he came to watch the 2011 SuperBowl with us and how we had planned to make that an annual event.  This song became about all of the dreams my uncle and I had together of things we wanted to do together, with the girls and Jason.  It became about not wanting to say good-bye and acknowledging that life is damn hard sometimes but God sends people into your life to be there for you, like my uncle always was and to help you understand, like both my uncle and Bruce have always done for me.

So many events in my life I can recall the Springsteen song that was on in the background, and this night, as I listened to the words I realized how strong I was.  Bring it on.  I can take it.  That night was bad, but I was still standing.  Come on and take your best shot, show me what you got...I can take it.  Bring it.  Bring on your wrecking ball.  

Bring on your wrecking ball (bring on your wrecking ball) 

Bring on your wrecking ball (bring on your wrecking ball) 

Come on and take your best shot, let me see what you've got, bring on your wrecking ball 

I became aware of my uncle in the car with me and this feeling of it was going to be okay and he would be with me in some capacity all the time now.

And I made it to Chipotle and I got my burrito and I made my way back to the hospital in time to see Jason wake up.  And I was strong and I didn't break down or let Jason know what had happened.

And I went to my parents house and I lost it completely and my daddy held me.

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Jason and I have had this thing since his mom passed away.  We notice the time is 10:10 or 2:22 and we would say hi to his mom and talk to her for a minute.  Since my uncle passed, we both realize we happen to glance at the clock and see that it's 3:33 or 5:55 a little more.  I just finished this post, glanced up and it was 11:11...coincidence?  I don't think so.

Ten Things You Will Always Find in My Fridge

1.  Fruit & Vegetables - I have a drawer full of fresh fruit and vegetables.

2.  Organic Spring Mix or Artisan Lettuce - I eat salad almost every day for lunch and there is always a huge Costco tub of lettuce in my fridge!

3.  Spa Water - I have been trying to drink more water.  I keep a big pitcher in the fridge with lemons and limes and cucumbers in it to keep me inspired to drink it!  It works!

4.  Cheese - I love cheese.  Cheese is my weakness.  Cheese makes me weak in the knees.  You will usually find several varieties of cheese in my fridge, ALWAYS, always a block of Parmesan, usually goat and feta and Monterey Jack and quite often some other cheese that whispered my name as I walked by it at the grocery store.

5.  Milk - My friends say my fridge looks like a dairy case.  I buy organic 1% milk at Costco for the girls, Skim milk for me and Half n Half for Jason's coffee.

6. Organic, free range eggs - My youngest daughter and I don't eat meat, so we get protein from other sources, like eggs.  Quite often there is a bowl of hard boiled eggs in there, great quick little snack especially around 3pm when you feel sluggish--protein works better than caffeine or energy drinks!

7. Nuts - Since Piper and I don't eat meat nuts are another source of protein for us.  I buy almonds and hazelnuts, pecans and pistachios in bulk.  We keep them in the fridge because it's the oils in nuts can go rancid quickly.

8.  Acidophilus - We usually have yogurt, but if I have not been to the store in a while we may not...even so, when we get bellyaches, we always reach for the Acidophilus.

9.  Whole Grain Bread - I keep bread in the fridge because it seems to get moldy fast if I don't.  My mom always kept bread in the freezer, but sometimes it gets freezer-burned, so we keep it in the fridge.

10.  The weirdest thing in my fridge is lipstick!Yes, you read that right, I have lipstick in my fridge.  It is the lipstick I wore on my wedding day almost 17 years ago, it has survived 5 moves in two states and it is in my fridge. Yes, I can still buy the color but for some odd reason that tube is really special to me.  I don't know if it really makes a difference or not, but I feel keeping it in the fridge helps preserve it.

To Move or Not to Move

When I was a child I couldn't get enough Little House on the Prairie.  I wanted to BE Laura Ingalls Wilder.  I wanted to live in a cabin and churn my own butter and can my own preserves and run through tall grasses and go fishing in a creek.  No joke.  It was my fantasy.

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When I met Jason I kind of knew we were destined because he shared my fantasy.  Together we dreamed of taking our kids and living like the Wilderness Family or Mountain Family Robinson.  You remember those {awesome, spectacular, cheesy} movies from the 70s where the family left the smog of LA and moved to the wilderness and met a scraggly mountain man and befriended a bear?  (Ah, to have grown up in the 70s!).  Grizzly Adams.  Across the Great Divide.  We had awesome movies to grow up and dream with in the '70s.

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After I graduated from college, Jason and I moved in together...as far out in the country as possible while still being close enough to get to work.

I will never forget the first time Jason's grandmother saw our first apartment, she asked Jason why he wanted to live "in the sticks"?

These were our neighbors in that first apartment:

Our first house was 2.8 miles up a mountain road and we loved it.  It was a 200 year old farmhouse that was built on top of a mountain.  We had an old foundation on our property and when we built our dog run, we found old, broken china cups and dishes that someone had buried.  More than half of our three acres were wooded and I used to lay in bed in the morning and watch deer jump up and pull down branches from trees in winter looking for food.  I saw a baby squirrel and its' mama from my bed one morning, too.  There were several horse farms on our streets and it was not uncommon to hear the clop-clop-clop of horses hooves going by--a sound I had grown up with and always found comfort in.

an aerial photo of our first home in New Milford, CT.

But, when Allie was a baby and my mom was diagnosed with cancer for the second time and Jason wanted to change jobs...we decided to move back to New Jersey.  At the time we had been soured on whole weekends spent on yard maintenance, hefty plowing bills for the driveway for winter and spending money just on maintaining an old house.  We wanted a home with sidewalks so little Allie could ride a scooter or Big Wheel or Green Machine or bicycle.  We wanted a low or no maintenance home, so we could have money for extras and time to enjoy them.  We wanted to be near family.  So we bought a house in a town with lots of mature trees.

We have great neighbors and sidewalks for the girls to play on and friends whose houses they can walk to.  Cutting the grass takes less than 2 hours on the weekend and a snowblower easily cleans the driveway.  We like being close to good restaurants and a university; we enjoy and take advantage of many of the opportunities of a more urban environment.  Jason and I are both involved with the town, I work at the library and Jason has set goals for our town's Shade Tree Commission and is working toward meeting them.  We have friends.  We have a great life.  We are very happy here.  Our mortgage is close to being paid off.

But lately - for about a year now - every once in a while we start looking to move to an area with more space, with rolling hills, where we can have a couple of acres.  Allie has proven herself a great "critter-keeper" and would love chickens.  Jason wants to not hear the neighbors cutting their grass, he yearns for peace and quiet on a summer morning, just sipping coffee and looking at trees (my husband is OBSESSED with trees--crazy man!).  I like the calm that comes over me driving up and down rolling hills, the peace I feel in nature, the freedom of having more space between us and other people.  And so we look for houses...

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Allie would like to move because she wants to care for chickens.  Piper just says, emphatically, "We are NOT moving."  Allie looks for houses on Realtor.com all the time.  We tell her all the time "Make Us Move" show us that house that will seal the deal and make all the annoyance of selling and packing and unpacking and settling in and learning a new house worth our while.

This one is in our price range and Allie thinks it would be "PERFECT!" (see the chicken coop back there?)  but I really don't want to have to maintain ALL those buildings!

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But I certainly would NOT mind having this view:

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I admit I love fixing up houses.  It's great fun!  But I also love that this house is almost exactly the way we want it.  We've finished the basement, added a deck, remodeled the bathrooms, installed all new windows and a new roof and we've done quite a bit of landscaping.  We are comfortable here, we really like our house, it's cozy and comfortable and perfect for us.  We like our neighbors a lot and for the most part our neighborhood is really quiet.  Our girls take classes at the university nearby and we love having theatre and really good restaurants and even Manhattan so close.  We chose this particular area 10 years ago because it has easy access to many major roads and you can get to a lot of places fairly easily and quickly (the beach & Manhattan in 40 minutes; the mountains in 45 minutes; Philly in an hour).  This easy commutability comes at the expense of being more crowded, more densely populated.  You have to move more than another half hour from all these things to get an area where you can have rolling hills and 2+ acre parcels of land.

The idea of selling a house, keeping it neat, having people look at it, the stress of that (I've done it twice and it's not fun!) is overwhelming.  The idea of packing, hiring movers, worrying about all the logistics.  We almost got sued the last time we sold a house and that had my anxiety at a high (fortunately the people did not have a case, but they were the type to try).

But, we feel called to a more rural area...and so we keep looking...we figure if the right house comes along we will know it.  A craftsman-style bungalow with lots of character on a couple acres would probably do it....

Something happened...

I was getting a ridiculous amount of spam comments on here.  I switched to Disqus, so the spam stayed on Blogger and I didn't have to weed through it, just delete it all.  But, depending on their browser, not everyone could comment.  But, I felt as though since people may get an email when I replied on Disqus, I was not just talking to myself...let's face it, we don't always have time to go back and check if someone responded to our comment on a blog...and then it's a little like the blogger talking to themself...what is the point, really?

Then, a few weeks ago, as I was writing a post, Blogger kept telling me that I was signed out of my account.  When I signed back in...the post was gone.  nada.  nowhere to be seen.  Frustrating.

I thought about switching to bluehost, self-hosting a Wordpress blog.  But, first of all, I always liked this free blog because if I stop blogging...it will still be here and my girls may find it in 20 years when they are young moms and understand me better or remember something from our life...I don't know, something like that.  Makes sense to me in some sentimental way.

Also, at one time, I was really into blogging...but now life has taken me in a new direction.  We are busier.  Other interests, things take up the time blogging once did...

A friend advised me to change my Google account password and uncheck the box to have my blog listed and searched and archived or whatever by Google to avoid the spam and maybe the getting kicked off (possibly bots were signing in and kicking me off???).

Something happened.

It was liberating.

Since Google is not listing and crawling and searching and archiving my blog...I feel more free.  Free to share whatever was on my mind, whatever was going on in our lives, whatever I was thinking or feeling or doing or seeing or hearing....my personal posts are not taking up the search engines' time and energy and I feel more free to post whatever I want...

It was like when I first started blogging.

I didn't realize how much I missed that.

I didn't realize how much the pressure of ALWAYS trying to be relevant or inspiring or to teach or inform or whatever was zapping the joy out of blogging for me.

I have a blog friend who has decided to put a lot of work and effort and energy into going big or going home and it's worked for her.  In her kindness, she has sent me emails of encouragement and told me things she was learning.  She did this all to be kind, to share.  And oftentimes I took it to heart, not really thinking about what I wanted...it was sort of like, if you are going to do this...you might as well DO THIS.  

But it stopped feeling authentic or genuine at some point.  I started saying things and writing things that were not really true to who I am, but were what I knew readers wanted.  I believe so strongly in being open and I was open to change...but it wasn't a real change, it was a forced change.  Kind of like when I had a baby girl and decided I needed to be more the fashionable mom who gets her nails done and goes to the gym and talks the talk instead of the natural, comfortable arty mom who can't have nails because she is always getting her hands dirty and prefers yoga over "the gym".  It wasn't real or authentic or true to who I am.

But hitting that DO NOT LIST ON GOOGLE button...it made me feel like I could once again be ME! And just write from the heart about whatever without worrying about Google crawling over stuff that is not relevant to the masses.

UPDATE: I am sad to say that I am still getting Spam comments AND I got "signed out" of Blogger again while working on a new post...but when I went back it was still there ALMOST where I was when I got signed out!  Aaaaghh!  I don't know what to do...I don't know that I am THAT into blogging that it pays to make a whole switch, but I am sure if this signing out keeps happening I will probably just give up altogether...and I don't really want that either!

My 10 Favorite Online Yoga Classes

I love yoga.  Yoga is something that I want to shout from the rooftops about.  When I first started doing it, I felt like I had uncovered the key to the universe and happiness and all that is good and right with the world.  Seriously.  I am calmer, more focused, saner, I breathe deeper, I feel better, I am more grateful, I am more in tune with my body and the world...I could go on and on...when I do yoga.

Originally I practiced at a yoga studio and that was awesome.  But, now with the girls and their friends and our busy schedules I just can't commit to ONE MORE THING.  I can't get in my car and drive somewhere, do something, drive home...for ONE MORE THING.  There is just not enough time in the day.  So, I often do yoga at home when I have a spare half hour or hour...it could be 6am or 8:42 pm, there is an online yoga class available when I am.

Here are some of my favorites:

1.  I have scoliosis, so sometimes I experience back pain.  When I do, this is one of the routines that ease the pain :)  I find something about Neesha's voice so soothing and comforting and I love how she reminds you to connect to the earth and be grateful.


2.  I love this class because it feels like I am in a yoga studio and it's a great workout.


3.  Part of yoga for me, is maintaining inner peace and a spiritual connectedness and this routine helps me do both.  If I am a little grouchy or crabby or just feeling emotional, this is the routine I do.


4.  If I only have 20 minutes, but I want to challenge myself and get some good core work...this is the one!


5.  I love the three minute kriyas of Kundalini.  I LOVE Breath of Fire.  I love how Sarah Kline talks about how an exercise improves your thyroid or some other gland, that keeps me going when I want to give up.  I want to strengthen my adrenals.  I want to do things now so that when I get old, I am still in good shape.


6.  Kundalini is all about awakening chakras and creativity.  If I am feeling uninspired and I only have 20 minutes, I do this routine.


7.  Kripalu is amazing.  If you like yoga, you should really try to get there at some point in your life.  Kripalu yoga tends to be very gentle with a lot of stress on doing what is right for YOUR BODY.  At Kriplau you really learn to listen to your body and what your unique body needs.  This workout, in my opinion, is more restorative than difficult or a real toning workout.  But, when I need to pamper myself...this would be the one I would choose.

8.  Turning 40 has been rough...I can't keep weight off as easily.  I love this workout.  It's quick and effective and Adriene is funny and keeps me motivated.  I wish she would come out with more routines.  Adriene?  Are you out there?  Are you reading this?  I love the poses, but I would really like more full routines!

9.  When my scoliosis is REALLY bad, I do this routine.  It. Is. Amazing.  Yin yoga is all about holding a stretch for several minutes.  It does wonders for my back.

10.  My back (because of scoliosis) and my belly (because I am over 40) tend to be the two areas I focus.  If I only have a half hour and my back is in pain, I do this routine.

Ten Things That Make My Day

I have been really enjoying reading these lists, so I decided to join in the fun!

The Top Ten Things That Make My Day are:

1.  Being intentional with my time - It is SO easy for me to get lost in "the bliss of the computer" as someone I know called it.  I can just go from site to site to site and check facebook and Twitter and blogs and blah,blah, blah all day long and let laundry pile up and my kids scrounge for food and my house go un-cleaned.  But I don't feel good when I do that.  I need to be intentional with my time.  For me, that often means making a list of everything that I want to accomplish and checking things off--something about those checks makes me happy, too!

2.  Yoga - The Big 4-0 has not been kind, people.  I am eating the same as ever, but gaining weight like never before.  I have an eating disorder, so this is all pretty concerning for me.  I am not supposed to diet, but a few weeks ago I did...and it was just a really bad downward spiral.  Anyway, after a loooong talk with my awesome husband, I got back on track and after weeks of trying to do more intense exercise, I realized why I LOVE Yoga.  It works my core and it helps me feel grounded, at peace, happy, centered, good about myself...unlike some other forms of exercise.

3.  A Big Bowl of Air-popped Corn and a Good Book - Yes, I have an eating disorder, my only two safe snacks are air-popped corn and grapefruit.  I love popping a bowl of corn and getting into bed with a good book.  It's my absolute favorite thing in the whole wide world to do!  Fortunately, I get to do it a couple times a week thanks to my hard-working hubby!

4.  Breathing - I know that may sound silly, but when I get upset or stressed, I just take a few deep breaths through my nose and think how awesome it is that I can do that, that I can breathe and that calms me down.  Also, just the feeling of deep breathing makes me feel good.

5.  Hanging on the Deck with my Husband - Several nights a week and most weekends, my husband and I just hang out on the deck together.  Sometimes we read.  Sometimes we talk.  Sometimes we listen to music.  Sometimes friends join us.  Sometimes we grill stuff.  Sometimes we drink beer or tropical drinks or vodka and cranberry juice or gin and tonics.  Sometimes we drink green smoothies.  But it is ALWAYS a time of relaxation, rejuvenation and bonding.  We don't really do regular date nights, but hanging out on the deck is a lot like a date--we usually send the kids away and focus on each other.

6.  Talking with my Girls - When ever I see someone with a baby, I always tell them it just gets better and better.  I remember when my girls were babies, I kept thinking, "It can't get better than this!"  And while I would love to go back to their baby days sometimes, I also really like the young ladies they are becoming.  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to just sit and chat with them.  Individually works better, otherwise they start bickering--sigh!  Almost every night, when I go to say good night to them, we sit and chat for a while, about the world, life, they ask me questions, we talk about their dreams, what they think of things, the world, what is going on in the world, my dreams for them....

7.  Watching TV with my Girls - I am really not a TV person, but my girls have gotten me into a few shows and it is our "thing".  Jason - crazy man - prefers to get up at 4am (he could get up at 6, but he likes to be up SUPER early) to do yoga, read, play guitar when the house is quiet and the kids and I are not bothering him (he likes to focus on US after work).  So, this means he is sound asleep at about 8 or 9pm and the girls and I watch our shows Switched at Birth or Life Unexpected.  They are honestly pretty mindless, but by that time of night, that is about all I can handle and sharing them gives the girls and I a point of referencer for other discussions.

8.  Silence - There was a time in my life when I ALWAYS had music on.  Then I had kids.  Now, when I can have silence, I breathe in and expand in that silence.

9.  My friends - I have been blessed with several friends, some of whom are lifelong, one of whom is my mom, some of whom I just recently met through homeschooling, with whom I can share my heart.  We can talk about our lives , our concerns and anxieties and troubles and we can wrap warm arms around each other and just be there for one another.  So, so important to me.

10.  Blogs - We said "YES" to everything for a while in late winter-early spring this year and it really took its toll on me in many ways.  I need down time.  I need free time.  I need time to not be looking at the clock.  I need to not feel rushed.  And, once I found time to read blogs again, I realized that I need TIME TO READ BLOGS.  You all help keep me centered and focused and your provide great inspiration and I need that.  I am thankful for all of your wisdom and advice and support.  My favorite blogs are ones where people just share their lives, what they are doing, just regular people living lives, sharing what they learn, what inspires them.  Love it.  Need it.