Our girls are on social media. Their accounts are protected, for the most part, with the exception of Seven Cool Homeschoolers.
Recently we had an issue where one of their friends posted some photos that Jason and I felt were inappropriate for a ten year old. When talking about this with another parent, the parent said, "Well, what do you expect when you let them use social media?"
We are raising our kids in a technology driven world. We may not like it, we may wish we all lived on farms and that jobs didn't require a high level of critical thinking that is more innate than learned. But, we live in a rapidly changing technology driven world and one day our children will more than likely need to utilize technology. I would rather prepare my children for responsible use of technology now than throw them out into it when they are in their teens or twenties.
The greatest piece of advice that was given to me on this topic was by a HomeLand Security expert who said that parents should get involved with and use social media so they can teach their children how to use it, what is appropriate and how to protect themselves. This is one reason why I blog, use Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, so I know the ins and outs and can keep an eye on my kids.
Start Young and Add To It
Since our girls were toddlers, they have been allowed to play on the computer, using Barbie Make-up game and Jump Start programs. As they got older, they got Nintendo DS and then ipod Touch. As they demonstrated responsibility and adherence to our rules, they were allowed more use of technology, such as Youtube and Instagram. It is better to gradually introduce your children to technology, set firm boundaries and enforce accountability so they learn how to use technology responsibly and with integrity.Kids will listen to parents at three, six, even ten. If my kids are anything like me, that will all be over by sixteen, seventeen or eighteen. So, get them while they are young, allow them small doses of computer games and gradually increase their technology as they mature and show responsibility.
- Age 2-3 -- computer games for toddlers are appropriate
- Age 4-5 -- computer games for pre-school
- Age 6-7 -- computer games for first grade
- Age 7-8 -- the child probably has shown enough responsibility to get a Nintendo DS or other handheld device, personally I still think they are too young for an iTouch
- Age 10 -- our girls were given an iTouch for their tenth birthdays, an iTouch offers many of the same apps as an iPhone and we felt our girls were ready to handle the responsibility of a smaller, more fragile device
*A Note on iTouch
When we bought each girl an iTouch, we told them that both Jason and I have the right to pick it up and look at it and use it any time. And we do. We check the games on it, the photos, the interactions, the history, etc.
Facebook is Unhealthy
I don't recommend Facebook for kids. I think Facebook is unhealthy. People either post inflammatory political comments or how awesome and wonderful their lives are. Very few people post about a bad day or problem, if you are feeling down, Facebook may make you feel worse. I don't think it's an appropriate place for children. I question if it's healthy for adults all the time, but I maintain my account and check in a few times a week to keep up with several homeschool groups we belong to and to check on specials for several small businesses that we like to support.
Youtube
Early on in homeschooling, we discovered the myriad documentaries and video clips and explanations on youtube. Jason has learned to change the power window in his car and install a three-way switch in our basement via Youtube. Yes, there is a lot of garbage on there as well; but used correctly, YouTube can be a great learning tool.
At a friend's suggestion, we allowed the girls to use YouTube through my email address so I could control what they viewed and know what they viewed. The girls were inspired to make everything from American Girl clothes and furniture to sea salt scrubs from watching YouTube. Recently, Piper was inspired to launch a YouTube channel of homeschoolers from around the country in an effort to start a YouTube community for homeschool kids.
The Crazies
Of course, with anything, there are people who abuse YouTube and post inappropriate material, soft-core porn and violent videos. At one time, I thought I had found a filter for YouTube, but either they did away with that or I was mistaken. The girls youtube accounts are through my email and I check several times a day to see what they watched.
You can set comments to Approve Comments if kids are posting videos. There are nutjobs who will post inappropriate things as comments, so it may be a good idea to tell your kids that YOU will approve comments.
I was somewhat reluctant to allow the girls on Instagram, but many in the homeschool community were allowing it and I felt it would be a good way for my girls to get to know homeschoolers around the country. We set the girls accounts up as Private and I approve their friends. I check their accounts from both their iTouch and from my account at least once a day to see who 'Liked' their photos and what they posted.
Earlier this year, we had to tell our girls not to be friends with their cousin on Instagram, because their cousin is 18 and was posting things that were fine for an 18 year-old, but not so good for an 11 year old to see.
To Post or Not to Post?
Jason and I will comment on photos that we think are inappropriate on facebook. The girls have seen us show each other photos and seen us roll our eyes. We have talked to them about the image you put out there. If you put certain kinds of photos out there, people are going to assume something about your character and who you are. We have been clear with them about what kind of image we want for them, both on social media and off.
Sometimes when we are driving in the car, we will see a girl dressed in a certain way and we will tell the girls we hope they never dress that way and why. Some may say that is judgmental, maybe it is; that girl can dress however she wants, I just know that I don't want my daughter dressing like that. Same goes with photos on social media.
Expectations
It's not fair to shelter kids from things and then expect them to make the right decision when faced with it. Kids need to understand what they are up against and have the skills and language and values instilled in them so they can navigate the world of technology with integrity.
Start young children with computer games when they are toddlers. As pre-schoolers allow them to use the educational game by themselves. In early elementary school, they should have shown enough responsibility to have a Nintendo DS. In later elementary school, they graduate to an iTouch. In middle school, maybe they are permitted to use social media on Private accounts with adult supervision. So that by the time high school comes--and they want some independence--they are ready to use social media with less adult supervision.
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